a felt-sense inventory

Where does your nervous system feel unsafe?

Safety isn't just about physical danger — it's a running prediction your nervous system makes, moment to moment, about whether the current situation is okay. That prediction can get stuck "on" long after the original threat has passed, showing up as self-judgment, body vigilance, or bracing in relationships and work.

Answer honestly, based on the last few months. There's no score to fail — this is just a way to notice where survival mode has quietly become the default, so you know where to start softening it.

ANSWERED
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The Inner Critic
Self-judgment as a safety strategy

I criticize myself harshly when I make a mistake.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel like I need to earn rest or relaxation before I'm allowed to have it.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I replay conversations or decisions afterward, judging what I should have done better.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Health & Body Vigilance
Scanning the body for danger

I scan my body for signs that something might be wrong.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

A new or unexplained physical sensation makes me anxious until I understand exactly what it is.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I look up symptoms online to try to figure out what they mean.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Work & Professional Safety
Bracing to be judged or found lacking

I feel like I have to be constantly "on" or perform well to be safe at work.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I worry about being judged, blamed, or criticized by colleagues or a boss.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel a flicker of tension or bracing when I check messages from work.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Relationships & Intimacy
Bracing for rejection or disappointment

I hold back my true feelings to avoid conflict or rejection.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel like I need to be a certain way to be loved or accepted.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I brace for disappointment or criticism from people close to me.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Financial Security
Money as a danger signal

Thinking about money brings up a felt sense of danger or dread.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel like I always need more saved before I can feel safe.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel a flicker of shame or anxiety when I think about my income or spending compared to others.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Social Belonging
Performing to stay accepted

I worry about being judged or excluded in group settings.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel like I need to perform or mask a part of myself to be accepted by others.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel most comfortable when I can blend in rather than stand out in a group.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Rest & Permission to Slow Down
Stillness itself feels unsafe

Slowing down or doing nothing makes me feel guilty or anxious.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel uneasy when things are calm or quiet, like I'm waiting for something to go wrong.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I keep myself busy or occupied to avoid an uncomfortable, still moment.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Body Trust & Sensation
Disconnection from the body's signals

I distrust my body's signals or feel disconnected from it.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

Physical discomfort quickly triggers fear rather than curiosity.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I override or ignore signals from my body, like hunger, fatigue, or pain, to keep going.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Uncertainty & the Unknown
When not-knowing feels dangerous

I feel a strong urge to have a clear plan or answer before I can relax.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

Not knowing how something will turn out keeps me on edge until it's resolved.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel more comfortable making a decision, even a wrong one, than sitting with an open question.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
The Digital World
Notifications, comparison, and always-on exposure

Checking my phone or social media leaves me feeling anxious, inadequate, or on edge.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel a small jolt of alarm when I hear a notification, even before I know what it is.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel pressure to respond quickly to messages, as if a delay might cause a problem.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Boundaries & Saying No
When asserting a limit feels risky

Saying no or setting a boundary feels risky, even when I know it's reasonable.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I say yes to things I don't want to do because turning them down feels unsafe.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I feel guilty after asserting a need or limit, even when it was reasonable.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Caregiving & Responsibility for Others
Carrying other people's safety

I feel responsible for managing other people's emotions or wellbeing.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I have trouble relaxing if someone I care about is upset, struggling, or unwell.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I put other people's needs ahead of my own, even when I'm depleted.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Change & Transition
When the ground shifts

Big life changes — even positive ones — leave me feeling unsteady or on edge.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I find myself trying to control or plan for every possible outcome when something is about to change.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

I try to prepare for every possible way something could go wrong before it happens.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always
Answer all 39 to unlock your results
your results

This isn't a diagnosis — it's a map of where your system is currently working hardest to stay safe. Below is every area, ranked, followed by a closer look at the two or three worth focusing on first.

Start here
This tool is for self-reflection and education, not diagnosis. If any of these areas feel overwhelming, persistent, or tied to real physical symptoms, it's worth exploring with a therapist, doctor, or practitioner familiar with mind-body approaches (e.g. pain reprocessing therapy, somatic work) — someone who can work with your specific situation.